I have recently taken a couple of weeks away from blogging. Recently I have experienced my 3rd miscarriage. Although I have been through this twice before it is still just as hard as the first time. With this in mind, I felt that I should write something to help others who are or have been through this as well
Miscarriages are something no woman should ever have to experience. You go through the excitement of finding out your pregnant and getting excited to tell those closest to you. You start to imagine what your baby will look like and what their little personality will be like. Then in a matter of moments, that is all gone. You aren’t thinking about special ways to tell your loved ones, but how do I explain this to people.
I have experienced this heartbreak, the most recent one being only 3 weeks ago. Obviously losing a child no matter how far along you are is easy, but here are a few things I have found have helped me cope.
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What is a miscarriage?
A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy with the first 23 weeks. It is believed that 1 in 8 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
What causes a miscarriage?
There are many reasons a woman could have a miscarriage although it isn’t normally identified when you have a miscarriage.
It is believed that some miscarriages are caused by their being abnormal chromosomes in the baby. Sometimes a baby can have too many or two little chromosomes which cause the pregnancy to end.
What do I do if I think I am having a miscarriage?
If it is before the first 12 weeks then it is a good idea to call your GP and get them to take a look at you. If you have a midwife and are experiencing symptoms then call them and they should get you in to see them.
When I was given the news that I had lost my most recent baby, why first thought to myself was now what? What do I do now?…
Talk to someone
It doesn’t matter if everyone knew you were pregnant or not, it helps so much to talk to someone.
This could be someone you know or this could be in support groups. I’m sure there are local group you can attend but there are also a lot of groups online, especially on Facebook.
Allow yourself to cry
I remember crying and wondering why I was crying. The truth is that you were pregnant, you still have to grieve for someone no matter how long you held them for. I stood in the shower the sobbed the night I found out.
Know that this isn’t your fault!
A large majority of miscarriages are spontaneous. This means it just happens and it doesn’t happen because it of something you have done.
This is something I have to remind myself so many times throughout the past few years.
Allow yourself to ‘make them human’
By this I mean give your baby a name. Although you may not have known whether you were having a girl or a boy it is ok to give them a name.
I have named our recent little angel Ari. I had a gut feeling that I was having a girl and after it was confirmed I decided to name her Ari.
I need help!
If you are feeling as though you are at a point where you need more support then here are a few places you can seek help!
If you are really struggling with life after losing your little one, visit your GP. They can help you by referring you to counselling or give you information about support groups.
The miscarriage association
This association can help you get support as well as, introducing you to other resources such as books and podcasts. Click here to go to the Miscarriage association’s website.
This association over you services to help you cope with your feelings. Click here to go to Cruse Bereavement’s website.
I hope all of this information is helpful for any of you and I’m so sorry you had to go through this!
If you liked this post then please go over and check out some of my other posts.